This is an old joke from 2000. This is why Lovie Smith deserves to stay as Chicago Bears Head Coach.
"2000 BEARS SCHEDULE
The Chicago Bears 2000 schedule and changes.
September
15................Tefft Junior High School
22................Cub Scout Troop #101
29................Chicago Blind Academy
October
6.................Spanish American War Vets
13................Crippled Children's Home
20................Elgin Mental Hospital
27................Girl Scout Troop # 353
November
3..................Illinois Venereal Disease Clinic
10.................Cicero Boys Choir
17.................Korean Amputees
SPECIAL MONDAY NIGHT GAME
December
9..................Wrigleyville Gay Boys Club
** RULE CHANGES FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - When playing polio patients, the Bears must not disconnect knee braces.
2 - When playing the Blind Academy, the Bears must not hide the football under their jerseys.
** RULES THE SAME FROM LAST YEAR **
1 - A touchdown (this is when the ball is carried over the goal line for all you Bears fans that have never seen this ) it is still worth 6 points.
2 - The Bears will be allowed 20 men on the field at all times.
3 - The Bears will be allowed to substitute with band members at any time.
4 - The Bears will be awarded 10 timeouts as opposed to 3 for the opposing team.
5 - The Bears will be awarded a first down with each gain of three yards or more, instead of the usual ten yards.
** NAME CHANGE **
The Chicago Bears will be changed to the "Chicago Tampons" as they are only good for one period and have no second string.
** COACHING CHANGES **
Dave Wannstedt will be replaced by Monica Lewinsky. She will no doubt blow a few, but she certainly won't choke on the big ones!!!"
Dave Wanstedt is legendary for ruining not one, but two NFL Teams in Chicago and Miami. He was Bears Head Coach Job from 1993-1998 (Way Too Long!)and then, was stupidly given the job of becoming Miami's Head Coach And General Manager! It makes you wonder, what did Dolphins Owner Wayne Huizenga see in his Bears Tenure that led him to say "We Love What You Did In Chicago and we want you to do the same thing here!" He went to Miami, and did the exact the same thing! He lasted until 2004, and then went back to his Alma Mater of Pittsburgh.
Bears and Dolphins fans sure hope he stays there.
Keep Lovie! He's Way Better Than Wannstedt!
Showing posts with label Chicago Bears. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chicago Bears. Show all posts
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Monday, September 21, 2009
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Bears Beat Packers With Field Goal in OT
Robbie Gould kicked a 38-yard field goal in overtime as the Bears beat the Packers, 20-17.
The Bears were dead throughout those first three quarters. They managed to tie the game at 17, and then block what would have been the game winning field goal.
Who else saw during the overtime coin toss when the coin hit Brian Urlacher in the helmet? That must have been a lucky bounce, as the Bears ended up winning the coin toss and eventually winning the game in overtime.
The Bears still need help to make the playoffs. They can win the NFC North if they beat the Texans and if the Vikings lose to the Giants.
According to the Yahoo Sports Playoff Geenerator, The winner of the NFC North will play either Dallas or Tampa Bay, depending on if Dallas wins or loses to the Eagles this Sunday.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Who's The Bears Starter?
When The Chicago Bears start the regular season against the Indianapolis Colts, Rex Grossman will not be the starting quarterback.
Kyle Orton, the former Purdue Boilermaker, has been named the starter after two preseason games.
The Chicago Bears open the season Sunday Night, September 7th against the Indianapolis Colts in a rematch of Super Bowl XLI. The Colts have a new retractable roof stadium, Lucas Oil Stadium.
Kyle Orton, the former Purdue Boilermaker, has been named the starter after two preseason games.
The Chicago Bears open the season Sunday Night, September 7th against the Indianapolis Colts in a rematch of Super Bowl XLI. The Colts have a new retractable roof stadium, Lucas Oil Stadium.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
The Winner For "Titletown USA" Should Be...
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
Why? You have The Cubs, White Sox, Bears, Bulls, and Blackhawks, and they are all supported by Chicago and they all have won their respective League Championship.
Anyway, Here's ESPN going to Chicago to resume their "Titletown USA" Series. They;re right behind Wrigley Field.
It's George Smith with Mike Ditka.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Brian Griese To Start For Bears Against Detroit
The NFL Network is reporting that Brian Griese will start at quarterback Sunday for the Chicago Bears.
Griese, the son of NFL Hall of Fame Quarterback Bob Griese, will replace Rex Grossman, who threw three interceptions as the Chicago Bears fell to the Dallas Cowboys 34-10 on Sunday night and did not get a vote of confidence from his coach a day later.
Bears Head Coach Lovie Smith was evasive Tuesday as to whether or not Rex Grossman would start for the Bears Sunday against Detroit.
This is a much needed move for the Bears that could be the move that could save their season. Grossman had struggled through the first three games, throwing an interception in the San Diego game that took the Bears out of scoring range, throwing two interceptions against a mediocre Kansas City Secondary, and Grossman throwing three interceptions against the Dallas Cowboys, including one that was returned for a touchdown by Anthony Henry. Grossman has strugled. The Bears' fans have labored through the first three games of the season, clamoring for Griese to start, and the cries only got louder after the Dallas Game. This was a move Head Coach Lovie Smith had to make. Brian Griese is now starting for the Bears. Will he be better than Rex Grossman?
Saturday, September 22, 2007
NFL Week 3 Preview
Terrell Owens will have a hard time getting open versus the tough Chicago Secondary.
UPDATE: THIS BLOG POST WAS UPDATED MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 24 WITH THE SCORES OF ALL THE SUNDAY GAMES.
Week two of the NFL Season is over, and there have already been some big suprises. Detroit is 2-0 and may be 3-0 as they are facing an underacheiving, 0-2 Philladelphia Eagles team. Donovan McNabb is trying to stir the attention away from his team, but McNabb and his team needs a win against Detroit.
Here's the Week 3 Schedule, complete with analysis and a prediction of the winner.
EARLY GAMES
ST. LOUIS AT TAMPA BAY 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: The Rams are coming off a tough one point loss to the 49ers last Sunday. Tampa Bay has started off 1-1 in this make or break season for Head Coach Jon Gruden. I'm going with the Rams to win on the road because they will play better than they did last Sunday.
ST. LOUIS OVER TAMPA BAY
FINAL SCORE: BUCS 23, RAMS 3
SAN DIEGO AT GREEN BAY: 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: LaDanian Tomlinson is ice cold in his first two games. The Chargers are struggling because LaDanian Tomlinson is not rushing for many yards through his first two games. Green Bay, suprisingly, is 2-0. Brett Favre, with last week's victory over the Giants, has become the winningest Quarterback in NFL history. The Packers Defense is tough, headlined by linebacker A.J. Hawk. The Packers may end up putting six or seven men in the box to stop L.T., which should open up the floodgates for Phillip Rivers, Antonio Gates, and the explosive San Diego Chargers offense.
SAN DIEGO OVER GREEN BAY
FINAL SCORE: PACKERS 31, CHARGERS 24
MIAMI AT NEW YORK JETS 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: Two struggling teams are playing each other. Both of these teams are 0-2, and both of these teams have players banged up with injuries. Zach Thomas is out for the Dolphins in this game. It's a toss up. It's the Turkey Game of the week. I go with Miami because of Ronnie Brown. The Dolphins will have success on the ground in this game.
MIAMI OVER NEW YORK JETS.
FINAL SCORE: JETS 31, DOLPHINS 28
ARIZONA AT BALTIMORE 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: The Baltimore Ravens will start Steve McNair in this game despite the fact that he is still recovering from a groin injury. The Ravens are coming off a win against the Jets, and the Cardinals are coming off against a last second Field Goal to beat their division rival Seattle. Arizona has the offense. Baltimore has the defense. I go with Baltimore because of their defense.
BALTIMORE OVER ARIZONA
FINAL SCORE: RAVENS 26, CARDINALS 23
INDIANAPOLIS AT HOUSTON 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: Andre Johnson is out for this game against the Colts. Both Houston and Indianapolis are 2-0. Jacoby Jones and Ahman Green will have to step it up for the Texans. The Texans are 2-0 because of their defense. DeMeco Ryans, the Defenseive Rookie of the Year, paired with first round selections Mario Williams and Amobi Okoye, headline a dangerous defense. Indy finally discovered the secret to winning a Super Bowl last season. It's having a defense that can prevent your opponents from scoring. Houston is discovering the same thing, particularly after they stopped Carolina dead in their tracks after the Panthers had a 14-0 lead, and the Texans scored 35 unanswered points. Peyton Manning and the Colts will be in a defensive battle, but Indy will pull out the victory. Houston's biggest weapon isn't playing for them, and that will be why they lose.
INDY OVER HOUSTON.
FINAL SCORE: INDY 30, HOUSTON 24
DETROIT AT PHILLADELPHIA 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: Detroit is 2-0, and Philladelphia is 0-2. Two things that I totally did not expect have happened. Detroit is on the road in Philladelphia. This will be their first true test of the season. Calvin Johnson has revolutionized Detroit's passing game, making Jon Kitna look like he was back in Cincinnatti. I go with Philladelphia because they are at home.
PHILLY OVER DETROIT.
FINAL SCORE: PHILLY 56, DETROIT 21
MINNESOTA AT KANSAS CITY 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: Two teams struggling at the Quarterback spot. Adrian Peterson and Larry Johnson will both have good running games.
MINNESOTA OVER KANSAS CITY
FINAL SCORE: CHIEFS 13, VIKINGS 10
SAN FRANCISCO AT PITTSBURGH
Analysis: San Francisco will have a tough time running or passing the football against Pittsburgh's tough defense.
PITTSBURGH OVER SAN FRANCISCO
FINAL SCORE: STEELERS 37, 49ERS 13
BUFFALO AT NEW ENGLAND
Analysis: Tom Brady will have another fantastic game in this one.
NEW ENGLAND OVER BUFFALO
FINAL SCORE: NEW ENGLAND 38, BUFFALLO 10
CINCINNATI AT SEATTLE
Analysis: Expect Seattle to win because of their running game.
SEATTLE OVER CINCINNATTI.
FINAL SCORE: SEATTLE 24, CINCINNATTI 21
CLEVELAND AT OAKLAND
Analysis: The Browns will win thanks to Jamal Lewis.
CLEVELAND OVER OAKLAND
FINAL SCORE: RAIDERS 26, BROWNS 24
JACKSONVILLE AT DENVER
Analysis: The Broncos have won two games by a Field Goal. Their luck is about to run out.
JACKSONVILLE OVER DENVER.
FINAL SCORE: JACKSONVILLE 23, DENVER 14
PANTHERS AT FALCONS
Analysis: Jake Delhomme to Steve Smith. Enough Said.
PANTHERS OVER FALCONS.
FINAL SCORE: PANTHERS 27, FALCONS 20
SUNDAY NIGHT
BEARS AT COWBOYS (GAME OF THE WEEK)
Analysis: If Terrell Owens can split the Bear defenders, Dallas wins this game.
DALLAS OVER CHICAGO
FINAL SCORE: DALLAS 34, CHICAGO 10
MONDAY NIGHT
TITANS AT SAINTS
Analysis: Vince Young will lead the Titans to victory.
TENNESEE OVER NEW ORLEANS
UPDATE: THIS BLOG POST WAS UPDATED MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 24 WITH THE SCORES OF ALL THE SUNDAY GAMES.
Week two of the NFL Season is over, and there have already been some big suprises. Detroit is 2-0 and may be 3-0 as they are facing an underacheiving, 0-2 Philladelphia Eagles team. Donovan McNabb is trying to stir the attention away from his team, but McNabb and his team needs a win against Detroit.
Here's the Week 3 Schedule, complete with analysis and a prediction of the winner.
EARLY GAMES
ST. LOUIS AT TAMPA BAY 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: The Rams are coming off a tough one point loss to the 49ers last Sunday. Tampa Bay has started off 1-1 in this make or break season for Head Coach Jon Gruden. I'm going with the Rams to win on the road because they will play better than they did last Sunday.
ST. LOUIS OVER TAMPA BAY
FINAL SCORE: BUCS 23, RAMS 3
SAN DIEGO AT GREEN BAY: 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: LaDanian Tomlinson is ice cold in his first two games. The Chargers are struggling because LaDanian Tomlinson is not rushing for many yards through his first two games. Green Bay, suprisingly, is 2-0. Brett Favre, with last week's victory over the Giants, has become the winningest Quarterback in NFL history. The Packers Defense is tough, headlined by linebacker A.J. Hawk. The Packers may end up putting six or seven men in the box to stop L.T., which should open up the floodgates for Phillip Rivers, Antonio Gates, and the explosive San Diego Chargers offense.
SAN DIEGO OVER GREEN BAY
FINAL SCORE: PACKERS 31, CHARGERS 24
MIAMI AT NEW YORK JETS 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: Two struggling teams are playing each other. Both of these teams are 0-2, and both of these teams have players banged up with injuries. Zach Thomas is out for the Dolphins in this game. It's a toss up. It's the Turkey Game of the week. I go with Miami because of Ronnie Brown. The Dolphins will have success on the ground in this game.
MIAMI OVER NEW YORK JETS.
FINAL SCORE: JETS 31, DOLPHINS 28
ARIZONA AT BALTIMORE 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: The Baltimore Ravens will start Steve McNair in this game despite the fact that he is still recovering from a groin injury. The Ravens are coming off a win against the Jets, and the Cardinals are coming off against a last second Field Goal to beat their division rival Seattle. Arizona has the offense. Baltimore has the defense. I go with Baltimore because of their defense.
BALTIMORE OVER ARIZONA
FINAL SCORE: RAVENS 26, CARDINALS 23
INDIANAPOLIS AT HOUSTON 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: Andre Johnson is out for this game against the Colts. Both Houston and Indianapolis are 2-0. Jacoby Jones and Ahman Green will have to step it up for the Texans. The Texans are 2-0 because of their defense. DeMeco Ryans, the Defenseive Rookie of the Year, paired with first round selections Mario Williams and Amobi Okoye, headline a dangerous defense. Indy finally discovered the secret to winning a Super Bowl last season. It's having a defense that can prevent your opponents from scoring. Houston is discovering the same thing, particularly after they stopped Carolina dead in their tracks after the Panthers had a 14-0 lead, and the Texans scored 35 unanswered points. Peyton Manning and the Colts will be in a defensive battle, but Indy will pull out the victory. Houston's biggest weapon isn't playing for them, and that will be why they lose.
INDY OVER HOUSTON.
FINAL SCORE: INDY 30, HOUSTON 24
DETROIT AT PHILLADELPHIA 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: Detroit is 2-0, and Philladelphia is 0-2. Two things that I totally did not expect have happened. Detroit is on the road in Philladelphia. This will be their first true test of the season. Calvin Johnson has revolutionized Detroit's passing game, making Jon Kitna look like he was back in Cincinnatti. I go with Philladelphia because they are at home.
PHILLY OVER DETROIT.
FINAL SCORE: PHILLY 56, DETROIT 21
MINNESOTA AT KANSAS CITY 1:00 PM EST
Analysis: Two teams struggling at the Quarterback spot. Adrian Peterson and Larry Johnson will both have good running games.
MINNESOTA OVER KANSAS CITY
FINAL SCORE: CHIEFS 13, VIKINGS 10
SAN FRANCISCO AT PITTSBURGH
Analysis: San Francisco will have a tough time running or passing the football against Pittsburgh's tough defense.
PITTSBURGH OVER SAN FRANCISCO
FINAL SCORE: STEELERS 37, 49ERS 13
BUFFALO AT NEW ENGLAND
Analysis: Tom Brady will have another fantastic game in this one.
NEW ENGLAND OVER BUFFALO
FINAL SCORE: NEW ENGLAND 38, BUFFALLO 10
CINCINNATI AT SEATTLE
Analysis: Expect Seattle to win because of their running game.
SEATTLE OVER CINCINNATTI.
FINAL SCORE: SEATTLE 24, CINCINNATTI 21
CLEVELAND AT OAKLAND
Analysis: The Browns will win thanks to Jamal Lewis.
CLEVELAND OVER OAKLAND
FINAL SCORE: RAIDERS 26, BROWNS 24
JACKSONVILLE AT DENVER
Analysis: The Broncos have won two games by a Field Goal. Their luck is about to run out.
JACKSONVILLE OVER DENVER.
FINAL SCORE: JACKSONVILLE 23, DENVER 14
PANTHERS AT FALCONS
Analysis: Jake Delhomme to Steve Smith. Enough Said.
PANTHERS OVER FALCONS.
FINAL SCORE: PANTHERS 27, FALCONS 20
SUNDAY NIGHT
BEARS AT COWBOYS (GAME OF THE WEEK)
Analysis: If Terrell Owens can split the Bear defenders, Dallas wins this game.
DALLAS OVER CHICAGO
FINAL SCORE: DALLAS 34, CHICAGO 10
MONDAY NIGHT
TITANS AT SAINTS
Analysis: Vince Young will lead the Titans to victory.
TENNESEE OVER NEW ORLEANS
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
NFL Preview: NFC North
Brian Urlacher is the heart of the Chicago Bears Defense,and the defense is why the Bears will win the NFC North Again.
The Chicago Bears of 2006 had the greatest season in 22 years. The Bears made it all the way to the Super Bowl, before "Mr. Inconsistent" Rex Grossman started fumbling snaps and throwing interceptions, throwing away Chicago's chance for their first Super Bowl Title since the days of "Sweetness" Walter Payton, and "Da Fridge" William Perry. The Bears still have the best defense in the entire NFC, so that alone chalks them up to win at least 11 games this season. Add to that the fact that no other team in the NFC North appears ready to make a run at the Bears, and the Bears, as long as Rex Grossman becomes more consistent, will have a shot at the Super Bowl again this season.
Prediction:11-5, 1st Place.
GREEN BAY PACKERS: Yes, Cheeseheads, Brett Favre is back to attempt to become all time Touchdown Pass King, but he doesn't have any descent receivers. Javon Walker is gone, and Michael Jennings is a questionmark. Ahman Green is also no longer with the Packers, but, with his career winding down anyway, I don't it would have made much of a difference. One thing Green Bay does have working for them is their linebacking Corps, heralded by A.J. Hawk out of Ohio State. If it wasn't for Brian Urlacher, we would be calling A.J. Hawk the best linebacker in the NFC North. Mike McCarthy may suprise people this season if some real breakout players emerge in the regular season. I just don't see it happening.
Prediction: 7-9, 2nd Place.
MINNESOTA VIKINGS: Tavaris Jackson may be ready to emerge as a premiere Quarterback this season. Adrian Peterson will rush for 1,000 yards behind Steve Hutchinson and will help Minnesota win games. Troy Williamson needs to show more consistency in the Wide Reciever department. The Vikings Secondary is starting to age. Minnesota will take one step forward with Adrian Peterson, but will take two steps back in the aging defense. Is Tavaris Jackson ready to step up? If so, this team may be in contention until midway through the season.
Prediction: 6-10, 3rd Place.
DETROIT LIONS: There is optemism in Detroit behind Calvin Johnson, and he will be a great player on a terrible Detroit Lions team. Jon Kitna is so-so, and Kevin Jones and T.J. Duckett won't be able to run for a whole lot. Detroit's defense is terrible. The Lions will have to deal without Dre Bly, as they traded him away. Yes, there is optemism in Detroit, but under this Matt Millen Franchise, it won't be there for long.
Prediction: 4-12, 4th Place.
Our Next NFL Preview takes us to the NFC West. Will the loss of Norv Turner hurt Alex Smith in the development department? Is Arizona finally ready to win the division? Find out in the Next NFL Preview.
The Chicago Bears of 2006 had the greatest season in 22 years. The Bears made it all the way to the Super Bowl, before "Mr. Inconsistent" Rex Grossman started fumbling snaps and throwing interceptions, throwing away Chicago's chance for their first Super Bowl Title since the days of "Sweetness" Walter Payton, and "Da Fridge" William Perry. The Bears still have the best defense in the entire NFC, so that alone chalks them up to win at least 11 games this season. Add to that the fact that no other team in the NFC North appears ready to make a run at the Bears, and the Bears, as long as Rex Grossman becomes more consistent, will have a shot at the Super Bowl again this season.
Prediction:11-5, 1st Place.
GREEN BAY PACKERS: Yes, Cheeseheads, Brett Favre is back to attempt to become all time Touchdown Pass King, but he doesn't have any descent receivers. Javon Walker is gone, and Michael Jennings is a questionmark. Ahman Green is also no longer with the Packers, but, with his career winding down anyway, I don't it would have made much of a difference. One thing Green Bay does have working for them is their linebacking Corps, heralded by A.J. Hawk out of Ohio State. If it wasn't for Brian Urlacher, we would be calling A.J. Hawk the best linebacker in the NFC North. Mike McCarthy may suprise people this season if some real breakout players emerge in the regular season. I just don't see it happening.
Prediction: 7-9, 2nd Place.
MINNESOTA VIKINGS: Tavaris Jackson may be ready to emerge as a premiere Quarterback this season. Adrian Peterson will rush for 1,000 yards behind Steve Hutchinson and will help Minnesota win games. Troy Williamson needs to show more consistency in the Wide Reciever department. The Vikings Secondary is starting to age. Minnesota will take one step forward with Adrian Peterson, but will take two steps back in the aging defense. Is Tavaris Jackson ready to step up? If so, this team may be in contention until midway through the season.
Prediction: 6-10, 3rd Place.
DETROIT LIONS: There is optemism in Detroit behind Calvin Johnson, and he will be a great player on a terrible Detroit Lions team. Jon Kitna is so-so, and Kevin Jones and T.J. Duckett won't be able to run for a whole lot. Detroit's defense is terrible. The Lions will have to deal without Dre Bly, as they traded him away. Yes, there is optemism in Detroit, but under this Matt Millen Franchise, it won't be there for long.
Prediction: 4-12, 4th Place.
Our Next NFL Preview takes us to the NFC West. Will the loss of Norv Turner hurt Alex Smith in the development department? Is Arizona finally ready to win the division? Find out in the Next NFL Preview.
Monday, June 25, 2007
(NFL) Bears let go of the Tank
The Chicago Bears have let go of the tank. Tank Johnson was released by the Chicago Bears today. The Bears were "embarrassed" by the defensive tackle's legal troubles and say he "compromised the credibility" of the team. Johnson was waived three days after being pulled over in Arizona and arrested for being impaired "to the slightest degree." Tank was already suspended for the first eight games of this upcoming season for violating his probation on a gun charge. He spent two months in jail and was released in May.
Tank Johnson has been released by the Bears. Would anybody be willing to take a chance on a wildcard like him that would only be available for half of the season? I hope not.
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